Disclaimer: This is total speculation, and we’re probably completely wrong. Carry on.

Today, the hip-hop e-world was abuzz over the sudden, and very premature, leak of 50 Cent’s latest album, Before I Self Destruct. While everyone’s first impulse was along the lines of “someone’s going to get fired,” we immediately wondered the opposite. One would think the Curtis Jackson machine would be secure enough to not allow this project to get out, and nearly a month early at that. What if BISD was leaked purposefully? What could the benefit be?

The only thing we can think of, is the movie. Interestingly, the day before the album leaked, the official trailer for Before I Self Destruct, the movie, was released. The trailer looks pretty good, for what it is, and was already gaining a buzz of its own before the album leak news broke. While it was once supposedly to come to theaters, BISD, the movie, was now reported to be packaged as a DVD to accompany the actual CD.

In either case, the benefit could outweigh the losses of a leaked album. Once the album is out and about, if the feedback is as overwhelmingly positive as the first couple of hours of twitter feedback has been showing, will people still buy the physical copy on Nov. 23, on principle? According to the iTunes pre-order, the “Deluxe Edition” of BISD, the album, has 3 more tracks than the leak. Well, that might not be enough to sway freeloaders, but for the CD + extra tracks + the DVD, even those who have downloaded the leaked CD may be so inclined.

Additionally, if the movie is released to theaters, backed by the strength of the leaked CD serving as a marketing push, box office tickets could be substantially higher than if the movie came out at the same time as the DVD. Wethinks movie profits >>> CD profits in this day and age.

Again, we could be totally off the mark here, but thinking outside the box is something 50 has become quite adept at. And based on his latest stunt of using the quick-to-spread-false-rumor ability of Twitter to his complete advantage, doing the same with what could be argued would be the inevitability of the album leaking anyway, we certainly wouldn’t put it past him.

What say you all?

Several times over the years, Marvel Comics published a standalone issue, under the “What If?” moniker, presenting the results of an alternate reality in the Marvel universe. Questions like “What If Spider-Man Had Joined The Fantastic Four?”, or “What if Wolverine Had Killed The Hulk?” were answered with the same expert craftsmanship as the rest of the legendary Marvel comics. It is in this spirit that Birthplace Magazine presents our own version of these classic comics, asking the hypothetical NY rap-related questions that allow you, the reader, to weigh in and answer “what if…?”

What If? #001 – What If A Middle Eastern Rapper Released “Negro Money”

Busta Rhymes’ song Arab Money is receiving heavy criticism from those who would say the depictions therein are borderline racist, with actual Arab Americans citing “the ignorant and fake-Arabic chorus, the ignorant mispronunciation of ‘Arab’ and ‘the stereotypical depiction of Arab culture, with the focus on some of the extreme opulence you might see in a Dubai or a few other places.”

Many others agree, some are fans letting Busta know some rules, perceived insensitivities within the song, and as with other controversial hip-hop songs, corporations are not being completely entertained. Despite some who suggest this is much ado about nothing, and Busta’s own pseudo-explanation, some wonder what this kind of song might have looked like if coming the other way around, and what the resulting response might have been.

So, with this in mind, we attempt to recreate the song, (perhaps just a bit tounge-in-cheek), as if it were presented by a Middle Eastern rapper with the same slightly-warped fascination with a similarly glorified, but not entirely accurate, vision of urban American reality. And so, we ask:

What if a Middle Eastern rapper released “Negro Money” with the following lyrics?

Now I heard what Busta Rhymes and what Ron Browz said / but me I got
Negro women and Negro bread
I got crack selling money in the projects playin’ dice
Sean John shorts, doo-rag, butterfly knife
Conflict diamonds make this Arab wanna laugh at ya
Al Qaeda spent 20 million to fund civil wars in Africa
So I step up in da club with skinny jeans full of the chronics
And make the people wanna sing the hook in ebonics!

YoDunSonnNahMeanNahmSayin
AyoOverHurrAightWordWasGoodie
We gettin Negro Money
We gettin Negro Money

WaddapKidYaErrrdFeelMehBeeyotchHoe
BomDigiBomDiDangDiDangGo
We gettin Negro Money
We gettin Negro Money

Hourly Hotels, stolen cars, bootleg movies
Sick big ass, hair weave, baby mama hootchies
Women walkin’ around while security eating watermelons
Club on fire now, bar is all full of felons
Sittin in casinos while I’m gamblin’ with Biggie
Money so long watch me purchase Brooklyn from the City
Ya already know I got the Middle East happenin’
So I bust ya ass like cops do to Black Americans

YoDunSonnNahMeanNahmSayin
AyoOverHurrAightWordWasGoodie
We gettin Negro Money
We gettin Negro Money

WaddapKidYaErrrdFeelMehBeeyotchHoe
BomDigiBomDiDangDiDangGo
We gettin Negro Money
We gettin Negro Money

Heyyy!!
See now I take trips to Compton, Gully! Wow!
Used to herd sheep, counting Negro money now
My dark arab skin, arab beard was making me say
“I might look out of place” but people just thought I was Freeway
I really don’t care ’bout black folk, cuz I’m still really, really rich like
Commander in Chief President George Walker Bush
But they still respect the value of my work in the glorious ghettos of
New York, New Orleans, L.A., Chicago!!

YoDunSonnNahMeanNahmSayin
AyoOverHurrAightWordWasGoodie
We gettin Negro Money
We gettin Negro Money

WaddapKidYaErrrdFeelMehBeeyotchHoe
BomDigiBomDiDangDiDangGo
We gettin Negro Money
We gettin Negro Money

…Thoughts?